Wisp

It was something like a dream. Surreal and sweet. Long enough for me to love you, yet too short with an abrupt ending. It was beautiful and unusual, something I’d never done before, something outside the norm. It was ecstatic and calming.

I loved you fiercely with my little heart. Broken and unsteady as it was, it held you at its centre, doing all it could to keep you safely there. We knew we would only have you for a short while, heart and I, but this only caused the feelings to intensify.

I was loved by you, tenderly, gently, in a manner that was new to me. I was caressed in my soul by the warm touch of a love that I longed for, for a long time. I was cradled in arms that felt soft as clouds, comfy as pyjamas and snug as a glove, as though they were created just for me.

I reveled in this short time we had. In the stolen glances and random kisses. In the unexpected bursts of laughter and the fear shared. The fear of the day we would have to seperate and never again see each other.

I wished with all of me that all of it would not just be a wisp. But wishes don’t always come true. Sometimes they remain just that, wishes.

Dru_Dru

Following Desire

It’s a dangerous game we play, this habit of taking ourselves to places we know we might not get out of. Going down rabbit holes that we won’t be able to climb back out of. Climbing trees even though we are afraid of heights and risking even our sanity for the sake of a few moments of pleasure.

It’s a dangerous affair we have, you and I. More so for me because I know the type of man that you are. And yet I still hope that something in me will stir something in you and change you just a little bit, just towards me.

I shouldn’t allow you to lure me into your traps. I shouldn’t follow you like a lost puppy. I shouldn’t let you take control of everything. But that smile, that wicked smile that makes you look sinfully handsome pulls at my heart strings and I find myself dancing to your tune.

I hate this but I love it. The rush of adrenalin, the noise of the blood rushing in my ears, the taste of it in my mouth. Its a dangerous game we play, the game of following desire.

Dru_Dru

Breaking Boundaries

Your voice came to me riding on the gentle breeze that crossed over my walls. It was barely a whisper. It caressed my ears like a mother caresses her child, tenderly with a love so deep it cannot be described.

I stood with my back against my walls. Ready to hold them up if they began to fail. The outside was a dangerous jungle where only the truly evil survived. I stood with my heart racing, scared that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to stay strong for long.

The earth trembled, something like the trembling of a lip when one cries. Small little tremors announcing the on-coming floods of distraction. And the bricks in my fortress started to give way. They came tumbling down to bow at your feet. Following your every command, even ones that had not yet been uttered.

And you stood there, gentle as ever. Smiling at my confusion and my anger. Ready to take on my wrath as I blasted at you for destroying the very essence of me. Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t. Your gaze pierced my heart and released a steady stream of happiness that I had never felt before.

You broke me down to give me You. Who would blame you? The only way you could get in was to break in.

Dru_Dru

Shining Your Light

The dark has been a comfort to my eyes. It has been a solace for my heavy heart, a perfect representation of my soul. A poor, wretched soul, so stained with filth that it can barely be seen. One may even wonder if it still exists.

My eyes have grown accustomed to not seeing. Not knowing what is there to look at. What might or might not be present, what person may have their hand stretched out. I am certain there is no hand flaring out trying to touch me.

It is cold and the coolness of the air is a good resting place for my tired heart. It beats slowly, a little too slowly. I should be worried but I’m not. It does this sometimes. Sometimes it pauses for a few seconds, recollecting itself, gathering its strength in order to continue beating.

Your light persist through my closed eyelids. I do not want to look. I can feel the tears gathering. Even without seeing, I know that your hand is stretched out to me and I can’t understand why.

It hurts. Your light hurts. And my leaking eyes only get more full the closer you get. Why am I only now feeling the pain this intensely? My heart was heavy before but now…. now it can’t keep going, but it’s still going. Its beating slowly and heavily but also lightly. How? How can being saved feel like being killed?

I can feel the stains on my soul being removed. A raw feeling of being scraped clean like a dirty pot pulled off the fire. I can feel my eyes opening even though the light rays stab my pupils mercilessly. Even though I try to resist, your light persists. I am now a mass of pain.

Maybe, just maybe, I will survive this. Maybe by dying I’m coming to life.

Dru_Dru