I tried to write a poem about my Guardian Angel being angry at me but when I asked him for help he said nothing. He was real mad, silent mad, so mad he wouldn’t vocalise it. I understand, I’m not a very good human often so I can’t blame him.

The poem went something like this:

“It’s funny, this back and forth we have. Today I’m mad at you and tomorrow you’re mad at me. Good old fashioned relationship dynamics at play.

I don’t like to dwell on the fact that I’m always the one at fault….”

And then I had nothing else to write because every time I turned to my right he was looking at me with a face that said, “Are you being serious right now?”

I actually was. It was my way of trying to lighten the mood when all I should have said was sorry. I don’t imagine – no. I know having to watch me is hectic. I am tired of me, I wouldn’t expect any thing less.

But Guardian Angel, I just gotta say, I’m really grateful I have you. Life would be magnificently chaotic without you.

Kassy_Lu

Whispers

Some days the silence is so heavy, palpable, portent, enough to be cut through with a knife. I sit in it, wondering if it would shatter like glass if I screamed.

Other days, on the days I want it the most, the silence gives way to whispers. Little rustles that seem to never stop. Thoughts in my head that speak to each other, have a good laugh and turn to me to share their findings.

I wonder what that looks like to you. Does it distract you from your watching over me? I wonder if it distracts you when it’s time to fight the darkness that flies at me from time to time.

I imagine the pointy end of your sword sticking in the ground in between your sandaled feet, your forearm resting on it, ready to strike at any moment and that makes me feel good, I feel safe.

But I can’t help wondering, if you stabbed into my silence, would it abate?

Kassy_Lu