One of those days…

In one of my bad days, feeling alone and confused, longing and wanting for something that no one seemed capable of offering, I thought to myself, life is about being selfless. We really  wish others would be there for us when we are down and in desperate need  for contact with another person. Sometimes, even if we do have that person with us, the longing deep inside of us is still there, it feels insatiable.

The world seems so full. So full of life, of promise, of opportunity. But in the end, it is just so empty. Because even though others may understand how we may be feeling, no one can really help. Not even Google has all the answers we seek. Math doesn’t have all the solutions to our problems, and not even science can explain all that happens on the inside of us.

Feeling alone and useless, I have often sought answers in the wrong places, because the right places seem so far. And the distance to God seems like it will take a lifetime to cover. It may take all of my life to truly be with Him as I long, but I just wish I knew what to do with myself when I don’t know what to do with myself.

At some point, nothing seems to make sense. Not school, not work, not even life. Being a human being isn’t as easy as it looks. It is difficult to live, and not just exist; because living is a selfless act. Living needs to bring life to others, and not suck the life out of them.

Nothing can or ever will satisfy our longings, or fill our empty spaces inside of us. We just have to keep going blindly, not knowing if we will feel better, but hoping that we do.

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Believing is an everyday thing…